All I Am Is What I Say

My name's Vic(toria). cat owner, attending Le Cordon Bleu college of culinary arts. Orlando.

Instagram: littlechefvic

Snapchat: LilVicInDaHouse






what do you call a snobbish criminal going down the stairs?

I don’t know. What?

a condescending con descending.

get out

That was beautiful

12 hours ago with 218,686 notes


finally a UN that can bring peace and happiness to the world



A young couple got married and, after the wedding, they held a reception in the bride’s grandmother’s house. All their family and friends arrived and they laughed, danced and sang, long into the night. After the wedding reception, the guests decided to play a game of hide and seek. The g r pom covered his eyes and began counting to a hundred while his new bride and the other guests ran out of t h e r oom , looking for somewhere to hide. Eventually, the groom had found everyone except his beautiful bride. The other guests began calling out her name and searched everywhere for the young woman. They began to grow more and more uneasy when they couldn’t find any trace of her. Eventually they gave up sea r ch in g and everybody assumed that the girl had run away and left her husband. As the weeks went by, the husband accepted that his beautiful bride must have had second thoughts about their m a r r ia g e. He decided to forget about her and go on with his life.

A few years later, a cleaning lady was dusting in the attic when she came across an old trunk. Out of curiosity she opened it. Inside the trunk, she found the rotting corpse of a young woman, still dressed in a bridal gown. There was a wedding ring on one bony finger. It was the missing bride. She must have hidden in the trunk and accidentally locked herself inside. It was impossible to tell whether she had suffocated or starved to death, but her face was frozen in a silent scream .

This is what the dress looks like :(


Neil Patrick Harris and David Burtka reenact the spaghetti scene from Lady and the Tramp

please tell me again how these adorable idiots are ruining the sanctity of marriage cause i’ll i see is a hella lot of cuteness





This is so beautiful :’)


I fucking love people who find street-side self-employment to do what they love. When I was in high school, there was a kid in my AP Bio class, really smart and intelligent and loved biology, but he was just so disillusioned with the academic situation in America that he didn’t even want to go to college. Our bio teacher asked him how he was going to find a career in biology without a degree, and he said he’d buy an electrophoresis kit and set it up in a city square and just let people watch the DNA fragments travel through the gel, and set out a hat or whatever to take donations. A biology street-performer. We all laughed, but last summer I was in Boulder, and there was this man on Pearl Street, along with the magicians and harpists and such, and he had a high-powered telescope. You could look through it and see the planets and stars in broad daylight, and he’d point them all out to you and give you a little lesson. He had a hat out and a cardboard sign asking for three dollars to look through the telescope, and he had a line of people. There’s something incredibly inspiring to me about the people who want to do something so badly that they’ll do it on the street if they have to. 

I saw a guy giving free compliments, and taking donations on the street. He would wax poetic about the beauty of the people walking by - their hair, their clothing, “the light shines off the blue of your eyes, while the skies of venice weep in shame, to wish they could match a shade so clear and bright.” Dude had class.

No matter what gender or age passed by, he had something kind to say to them. 




Canadian Photoset #19


American Photoset#18

I love my country

Since this post was created the new 5, 10, 20 and 50 dollar bills have been rolled out which also smell like maple. God bless us all.




When you crack your knuckles you hurt the skeleton inside you

Good, the skeleton needs to know that I am the alpha and I am in control.

Break your own bones to establish dominance over skeleton.

12 hours ago with 174,262 notes



This is what happens to a basketball court when the pipes burst

this is the greatest basketball challenge of all time

“Part of me wants to drop out of college and go travel the world.
Part of me wants to work really hard in college and change the world.
Part of me wants to not work hard at all and marry some rich guy.
And the other 97% of me just wants to sleep.”

(via sincerelypalita)

has 31,189 notes


He cold as hell for this.


malcolm in the middle was the realest show



pretty sure it’s katy perry

or jared leto